


Right and Wrong

by TheSigyn



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-20
Updated: 2016-10-20
Packaged: 2018-08-23 13:31:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8329708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSigyn/pseuds/TheSigyn
Summary: “Even if he was okay with it, even if he was a bad person, even if... if he... did the same thing to someone else. That wouldn’t make what I did right.” Buffy talks to Dawn in the car ride home from the train yard, in Him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This one's for zabjade, who wanted Buffy to acknowledge that what she did was wrong.

   It was awkward, jamming them all into the back of Xander’s car. Willow took the front, leaving Spike, Buffy, and Dawn to sort themselves out the best they could. It hadn’t been so bad earlier, when it was just Spike and Buffy in the back seat, because Buffy and Willow had been dreaming of, and talking about, the hotness of RJ, and Spike and Xander had sat kitty corner, being long suffering and patient with the spell... presuming it was a spell. (God, Buffy hoped it was a spell! She hated feeling out of control like this. It was an uncomfortably familiar feeling....)

   Dawn was still moaning, though. “You should have let me do it,” she said. “You should have just let me kill myself for him.”

   “Dawn, just shut up,” Buffy said. “You really have no idea what you’re talking about.”

   “I know I didn’t have a chance,” Dawn said. “Not with... with kinky lesbian sex, and violent mature powerhouse and... and... whatever Anya the sex pot is doing.”

   “We don’t know that Anya’s doing anything!” Xander said firmly. “And don’t call her that.”

   “You’re the one who offered me her French Maid costume!” Dawn snapped.

   “When was this?” Buffy demanded.

   “I didn’t know that one was in there!” Xander said hurriedly.

   “That box of Anya’s clothes Xander gave me, ‘cause he didn’t want them cluttering up his apartment anymore, but was afraid to sell, in case she went all vengey on him.”

   Buffy knew about that box, but not the French Maid outfit. “You didn’t tell me this.”

   “It didn’t matter,” Xander said. “I took it back.”

   “Just... I’m still a virgin,” Dawn whined.

   “Good!” said everyone in the car in unison, or some variant on the theme.

   Dawn sighed. “Everyone’s having sex except for me,” she said. “Wish I’d had the courage to just... I don’t know. Grab him and throw him against a wall or something.”

   “Dawn—”

   “No, ‘cause then, even if he pushed me away, and didn’t think he liked me, I could show him how much he did, and — ow!”

   Buffy had hit her. It could have been a playful backhanded thwap, but it really wasn’t. The pain was sharp, and Dawn was pretty sure she’d have a bruise on her ribs.

   “What was that for?”

   “For being evil,” Buffy said. “I don’t care how unhappy you are, or how under a god damn spell you are, that’s not right.”

   “Oh, like you didn’t do exactly the same thing,” Dawn said. “I saw you with RJ. I’m sure you just threw him down on the desk and had your way with him.”

   Buffy rubbed her face with one stiff hand, which she clenched a second later. “Dawn? This spell is making us do crazy, evil things. Come on, I was just about to shoot your principal with a bazooka!”

   “It’s not the same,” Dawn grumbled.

   “It is exactly the same!”

   “I don’t see how seducing him is evil.”

   “That’s not seduction,” Buffy snapped. “That’s assault.”

   “Are you telling me you assaulted RJ?”

   “Buffy didn’t do anything like that!” Xander said over his shoulder.

   Buffy closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Dawn?” Her voice was quiet enough it wouldn’t reach to the front of the car. “RJ is really... really... confusing, but that doesn’t make killing yourself for him right. It doesn’t make killing anyone else for him right. And even though it might feel right right now... what you just described? That’s  _ wrong _ . Okay? That is completely... and utterly... wrong.”

   “But what if he liked it?”

   “What if he didn’t?” Buffy said. “By definition, doing that doesn’t leave you time to stop and check! You don’t do that to someone, even if you know they’re turned on, even if they love you—” She stopped herself and rubbed her face again. “You don’t just tear someone’s clothes off and start in.”

   “Why not?”

   “Will you just listen?” Spike said quietly, and they both stared at him. They’d sort of forgotten he was there. “Your sis is telling you something important.”

   “Look,” Buffy said. “Your Health class tells you all about condoms and STD’s and... and abstinence first, but what it doesn’t tell you is how it all works. It’s confusing, and it’s hard, and... and you can get it wrong.”

   “But guys want girls to just do that, don’t they? Don’t they like girls who are sexy and want them and will just grab them, and throw them down, and cut through all that stuff?”

   “I’m telling you, Buffy didn’t do that!” Xander shouted over his shoulder again, sounding rather desperate this time. Dawn’s voice hadn’t been as quiet as Buffy’s.

   Dawn looked up at Buffy. “Did you?”

   Buffy’s brow furrowed. “I don’t...,” she said. “It’s... fuzzy.”

   “Yeah,” Dawn said. “The train yard is... fuzzy... too.”

   “It doesn’t matter whether I did or not, right now,” Buffy said. “We are all clearly under the influence of something. The point is that if I did do something like that, to anyone, ever... it would  be wrong of me. As wrong as shooting your principal with a bazooka. It’s just... it’s wrong.”

   “But what if they’re okay with it after?” Dawn said. “I mean, RJ came back for more.”

   “That doesn’t erase what I did,” Buffy said quietly. “Even if he was okay with it, even if he was a bad person, even if... if he... did the same thing to someone else. That wouldn’t make what I did right.” She swallowed, as she heard what she was saying. “And I’m sorry for it.”

   “I don’t get it.”

   Buffy took Dawn’s hand. “We’ll talk about it after we get this spell off, okay?”

   “No, you won’t. You never talk about stuff like this.”

   “Then listen now,” Spike said quietly.

   Dawn scoffed. “Like you can say anything.”

   Spike was only just out of the basement, and all he did was look out the window.

   But Buffy couldn’t miss it. He’d heard every single word.


End file.
